Here I was. 32 years of age and ready to settle down when my boyfriend broke up with me. I was shocked and I couldn't believe it. We only moved in together 4 months earlier.
I cried my soul out as I felt betrayed and hurt. But at the same time I knew that everything happens for a reason.
Deep down I knew that he is not Mr. Right as we didn't have anything in common. I love travelling, theatre -, and musical visits. I indulge in fine dining and wearing nice clothes. I love everything cultural and posh.
My boyfriend was lovely but he only wanted to get married and have children. But at what cost? He didn't have the financial means to purchase a property with me. His friends did not accept me because I am foreign. He was only at the beginning at his career and I didn't feel that this was all going to well.
Nevertheless, I felt that I was wanting to settle down. For almost five years he was hoping that I would change my mind and would want to have two children with him. And I secretly hoped for him to change his mind too. I thought that he would understand that working hard, travelling and have a great life together would be better for us.
But when a man uses his ego than we women have to say: OK, I take the highroad, because I know what I want. I had dreamed up my ideal life from the early age of fourteen. I always wanted to be free and find out who I am and what I can achieve in life.
I was the first to move out of the rented flat only to live in a rented room for a while. I just wanted to get back on track with my private life. My work life was great. I used to work for the airline of my dreams.
Two months after we broke up I decided to travel to New York City to do some sightseeing and shopping. It was my best relationship therapy ever.
I booked the cheapest room in New York City. Sightseeing and shopping was my priority. I loved every moment of it. Four days of pure freedom. No nagging from a previous boyfriend. He was not able to hold me back anymore to not see the world. I felt as free as an eagle in the sky.
When I returned from my trip to New York City I felt relieved and empowered that I did not let a man change my mind on being free.
Over the next few months, I continued to work with the airline. By the end of the same year I was lucky enough to be able to purchase my first 2 bedroom flat in North London. I was ecstatic! This is exactly I was dreaming about all my life. Live abroad, work with an airline, travel and live in my own flat. It has taken me over fifteen years to achieve my independent life. But the hard work, the studies and sacrifices have been absolutely worth it.
In summary I feel that I need to mention is the following:
Red flag no. 1: When a man mentions early in a relationship that he wants children with you, you need to be aware that this is what he wants and will have. If you are not ready for this kind of commitment or want to enjoy life, get out of the relationship as soon as possible. The longer you stay in a relationship where two people want different things in life will always end in tears.
Red flag no. 2: If you do not feel passion for the man - leave immediately. I stayed because my relationship was somewhat cozy.
Red flag no. 3: No need to stay with a man who does not have 1 or 2 hobbies in common with you.
You are wasting your time and feelings.
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