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How not to fear change

Change in life means uncertainty and not knowing what will happen next. This uncertainty is part of our lives and can be dealt with hands on.

I remember that when my boyfriend and I broke up, we lived together in a flat in London. From one day to another the relationship was over. Done and dusted. We both wanted different things in life. He wanted to get married and I wanted to travel the world. I experienced the uncertainty of not knowing where I would live next. I was upset because it happened unexpectedly. But what would life be without situations like these that are put in front of you? You would never learn and grow so that you get more prepared for the next situation that may be as painful as a relationship break up.

The same applies to being made redundant, financial issues and any other problems that pops up in your life.

None of us can escape the changes that occur in our life's but we can deal with them in a sensible and rational way.

Here are some tips on how to deal with each situation:

1) Describe the situation you are currently in. It helps if you write down the situation in a diary or journal so that you get a clear picture of what is going on.

2) How has the fear of change come about? What is the truth here? What lies beneath that?

Don't analyse why you have this fear, simply find out what lies beneath at this point.

3) What do you believe about this situation? Could it be prevented? If not, what do you need to do to overcome the fear? Maybe you need to find out more information or need to get advice from an expert.

4) How would a fearless person do in that situation? Investigate famous people who have overcome fear of change. My favourite famous person to mention is Hilary Devey. I have read her book "Bold as Brass" and herein she describes how she dealt with all the pitfalls in her life. She certainly dealt with fear but she focused on what she needs to do to solve each issue. Absolutely amazing!

5) Our beliefs that are attached to this situation are important. They prevent us from making the change. They keep us in our low paid job, in our toxic relationship, keep the debts, and live in a small property. Change is a big thing for everybody and that is why only a small group of us have the courage to move towards living the life we deserve. It takes a lot of courage, risk and boldness to move ahead with your life's desires.

To become clear about the beliefs in your mind, I suggest you make a list of the beliefs that prevent you from making changes in your life. Take a moment to write them down and then write the positive one next to it. Write them on sticky notes and read them daily before you go to work and in the evenings when you return home.

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